Last night was destined to be a perfect sleep.
I magically caught my sleep window, the temperature in the room was exactly right, my sheets were clean and my jammies were cosy. I even had the perfect book - she's like an old acquaintance; you remember enough to know that it all works out happily ever after but don't remember everything so you're still pleased by the details. It was delicious. I started to drift off at the end of a chapter, so I closed my book and turned off the light. I was 3 breaths away from perfect REM when ...
ZZZZzzz-GGGhhhaaAAA-ZZZZGGAAHHzzzzz
repeat.
I gently shook his shoulder, he rolled over, there was blissful peace for 2 minutes
ZZZZzzz-GGGhhhaaAAA-ZZZZGGAAHHzzzzz
repeat.
I rubbed his back, ahhh, quiet ...
ZZZZzzz-GGGhhhaaAAA-ZZZZGGAAHHzzzzz
repeat.
I "allegedly" nudged ("hit") him with my elbow really hard between the shoulder blades.
"Was I snoring?"
"Yes."
"Sorry"
ZZZZzzz-GGGhhhaaAAA-ZZZZGGAAHHzzzzz
repeat.
So I slept on the couch. And when I say slept, I mean "lay in the dark with my eyes open not sleeping."
Alternate titles for this post:
"I don't know why you're on the floor ... maybe there was an earthquake?"
"I'm really sorry he's dead officer, but the snoring never stopped ... "
