Tuesday, June 20, 2006

everyone should know ...

Before you're allowed to graduate from High School you should know:

- what flatware to use in any dining situation (and how to set a proper table)
- how to sew on a button
- how to use an iron
- how to do laundry
- how to make a meal using more than one pot
- (boys only) how to tie a proper tie (clip-ons are for children)
- (girls only) how to walk in high heels (a topic controversial enough for its own post)

You should also
- achieve 90% or better on a test based on "The Urban Etiquette Handbook" It's not just appropriate for New York
- prove attendance at the symphony, ballet or opera
- write a 1000 words acknowledging and demonstrating why the book is always better than the movie

And finally you should take the following pass/fail test consisting of identifying the errors in the following statements (all based on actual statements made either in the media or in conversation and witnessed by persons known to me):

1) "Saddam Trial: Defense rests, calls for death penalty"
2) Speaking of an industry that is currently consolidating, it was noted that the industry is "balkanizing".
3) An on air CBC reporter who said Trinidad and Tobago fans are very compassionate about World Cup Soccer.
4) Complimentary means mutually supplying each other's lack
5) Using the term "dearth" when referring to something of which there is a lot. (especially when pronounced darth, as in Vader)
6) A headhunter in his written report said the candidate was very compassionate about his chosen field.
7) Brief (verb) means to interrogate (as a pilot) usually upon return (as from a mission) in order to obtain useful information

and I could go on.. it's/its, their/they're/there, your/you're, orient/orientate, ...

If you fail to observe something wrong with all 7 points above, please stop reading this blog.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

to box or not to box ...

I normally enjoy change. I like trying new things. Moving to a new city does not stress me out. Eating at a new restaurant, shopping at a new store, jumping into a brand new type of project at work are all fine with me.

There are a few changes are very stressful to me. Last night the instructor for my boxing class was out of town. There was a replacement. I did not enjoy the replacement. Our regular instructor is terse, funny and motivating in a non-threatening sort of way. The replacement was this little sprite of a girl with the hugest biceps I've ever seen. I'm sure she's lovely in person but she put the headset on and started shouting and I almost walked out.

I don't enjoy working out. I don't enjoy sweating. I don't run, jump or "bounce" in place. I wear two shirts just in case one rides up and shows my stomach. This is not my comfort zone and I do not enjoy having to deviate from my routine.

If you are my instructor don't say my name to encourage me to "push through the burn!" Don't say my name to point out that I'm doing something really well. Don't come next to me and bounce in a manner meant to make me follow along.

Just let me work in the back of the room. I will do my best but I am not having fun and will not pretend to be. Let me be invisible and I won't spend the entire class thinking about punching you.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

literary ramblings

So I've been on a bit of a reading binge for the last month. Here are a few of my thoughts.

Mina by Jonatha Ceely. I started this book skeptically as the introduction describing the discovery of a "journal" in an 18th century farmhouse is tedious. The first person tone of the introduction is self-important and off-putting. The pretentiousness ends completely once the narrative proper begins. It's not a romance but it's the story of a relationship between two very different people under unusual circumstances compounded by past tragedy. The journey taken by the main characters towards understanding and accepting each other and thereby themselves makes for a compelling read. Skip the introduction.

Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination by Helen Fielding must be read with an open and tolerant mind. This is not Bridget Jones. It needs to be read like it's a James Bond movie. Don't take it seriously. Once you begin to read it like a Vin Diesel movie, it's funny and entertaining. I'm interested to see what Olivia Joules might do next. As KG said to me today, "it is crying out for a sequel."

Holy Fools was my introduction to Joanne Harris. I am familiar with the movie Chocolat based on her novel of the same name, but you can't judge a writer based on the movie. (Obvious exception that proves the rule is The Godfather by Mario Puzo.) I was compelled by the female protagonist and her journey to keep herself and her daughter safe in early 17th century France. The mystery running through the plot and the constant threat of witchcraft make it hard to put down. The writing is delicious although you will wish she made some different choices.

Every Breath You Take by Judith McNaught follows a successful formula. If you've read her other contempory mystery/romances, you'll feel like you're putting on a comfortable sweater. Characters from two of her previous novels make cameos. The protagonists are smart and independent but have serious communication issues. The plot is formulaic but the writing is good enough to keep you interested in how the ending you know is coming will come about.

Quattrocento by James McKean combines two of my favourite genres, Art and History. I love to read about artists. I even enjoy reading about art historians and restorers. The protagonist is an art restorer who falls in love with a woman in a painting. Then there is some time travelling. If you can get past the time travelling and the fact that the modern guy immediately fits right in, knows the correct Italian dialect to speak, and of course lands in the exact place he "needs" to be, it's not a bad story.

Anybody Out There? is, in my opinion, Marian Keyes most ambitious novel to date. It takes us back to the Walsh family and shows them at their best. I can't say anthing about the plot without spoiling it, but you'll laugh out loud and you'll need to keep the tissues close at hand. I have read all of her novels many times. This is her best.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Luxury

I was thinking about other things that could be bought with my End of Student Loan Celebratory Shoes money now that I actually have a pair of Louboutin's (though they are pretty casual and some fancier pumps or sandals might be in order) and discovered that I may have a bit of a problem. Not an addiction per se but simply a slightly skewed reality as to what is an appropriate amount to spend on certain items.

This got me to thinking about my favourite things to do or buy for less than $10 that make me feel pampered and special.

1. a new pair of socks
2. the Sunday New York Times and the time to read it.
3. a really well made sandwich
4. a long walk with someoneyou can have a great conversation with
5. a nap in the afternoon
6. Vogue
7. watching a classic movie like Breakfast at Tiffany's or Roman Holiday or Casablanca
8. a trip to a museum (depending on the museum this may be more than $10 but will make you feel special and pampered and, as an added bonus for the extra expense, smart)
9. giving yourself a manicure and pedicure
10. orange soda (not orange and cream soda, but straight up Orange Soda - I dare you to drink some and not smile)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Passover

Please go visit this. It's the funniest shoe story I've ever seen.

Happy Passover and/or Easter.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

under pressure

while singing the Queen and David Bowie song in your head...

Just back from a Charity Event for Invest in Kids. When it 's a trivia challenge, there is A LOT of pressure to repeat as champions. All I can is that fact that last year we won, and that the Victory Cup had a place in the wedding of me and the BC has now entered Invest in Kids lore. Really, when you participate in anything, your ultimate goal can only be to be remembered, and trust me, we will.

Also decided that wearing the same skirt four times in a row was not very classy... may not have been the best luck to wear my new dress, but trust me, it's very pretty.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

people who need a swift hard kick in the pants

"Peace Activists" who require military action to free them from hostage situations.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Two Words


Christian Louboutin

As you may know I have been coveting a pair of black and white Ferragamo wedges and decided to bite the bullet and see if they still had my size. They didn't but they did have these in my size and for about 2/3 the price.

I love my income tax refund (and the husband who lets me buy things on credit until the actual refund arrives!) Mine are similar but not asymmetrical and with a little bow. I'm just wearing them around the house and smiling.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

new adventures

Superbowl Slim and I have started a new fashion specific blog to discuss our personal obsessions with shoes and handbags, respectively.

We'll be posting at least as regularly as I do here, if you're interested, give us a look at So Much Pretty.

tuesday

Finally saw Brokeback Mountain last night. I am not going to add to the ocean of prose about this movie except to say that it is wonderful, beautiful and the saddest film I have seen in a long time.

Noticed that C.R.A.Z.Y. cleaned up at the Genies. Go see this film if you have the chance. It's funny, sad, touching and in places, suprisingly whimsical.

The warm weather seems to have disappeared and snow is expected later today. I'm not bragging, but I told you so!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

seriously

Explain to me how Pete Doherty is "making good progress" in his attempt to get drug free THE DAY AFTER his arrest on SEVEN counts of possession.

I wonder if he travels around Britain with a Faberge Egg as well?

UPDATE: Apparently the evidence for his hearing Thursday regarding those SEVEN counts of possession is misplaced. So he's back out on unconditional bail for the time being. Did anyone check his blood for the "misplaced" evidence?

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Oscars, Pret-a-Porter and other things

First off, in answer to Kathedral, yes the cold is gone. I am feeling better and am very psyched because I have a 1/2 day at the spa booked for Friday and am just dying for my massage.

Things that are new... Exercising. BC and I have a trainer. It's more fun than I thought it would be. I have a feeling that if I had to go by myself I would have already quit but we push each other and commiserate together when it's over. Less commiserating now though than in the beginning when we couldn't move for two days after a session.

Academy Awards... If you come over to our house on Oscar Night you are obligated to make your picks in advance. Usually it's only me, BC and SF. There was an upset this year, I finally won!!! Which is sad when you consider that I have not seen any of the movies. Not one, excepting Memoirs of a Geisha which deservedly won for Best Costumes.

I had my 4th 29th Birthday. Got some excellent presents. Two specialty TV channels for a year (Discovery Civilizations and Fashion TV obviously), a great book on Roman Art and Architecture; Chanel; the 1/2 day at the Spa; dinner at Susur (an incomprable meal!, my new favourite restaurant, if only it didn't cost slightly less than a week's salary); and the publication that has my drawings of small finds from way back when I was an idealistic Archaeology Student.

Our ISP was down over the weekend and I haven't yet examined the F/W Ready to Wear collections, but of what I've seen I must say that I am not really fond of the Chanel thigh high boots. Perhaps this is because I am not a 22 year-old with matchstick thighs who hasn't eaten since her sweet sixteen party. Love these shoes from Miu Miu and normally I am, at best, so so on Miuccia Prada's work.

So pretty... when do they hit the stores???











P.S. Does any one have a translation/transcription of Three 6 Mafia's acceptance speech? I'm curious as to what they actually said.

Monday, February 20, 2006

head colds and lemon tea

I have a cold that is completely in my head. Not "in my head" in an I should be wearing a helmet kind of way but in that it has manifested as full sinuses and a sore throat. I hate a sore throat. There are very few things that can make you feel as helpless as a sore throat. Because unless you're asleep, there is nothing that makes it go away. However, I have just finished a big mug of lemon tea, lemon slices and honey and actually feel better, OK, less sore. It's very delicious as well. I might drink this when I'm not sick.

Finally got to see the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last night. I love all dogs but there is something alien and creepy about the Bull Terrier that makes you thankful you haven't met one in a dark deserted alley. I was pulling for the Old English Sheep Dog. So cute and probably the finalist who I am the most allergic to.

Monday, February 13, 2006

SSPQotD ...

Will work for shoes. I could never actually work in a shoe store. I would hide all the shoes in my size until I could buy them.

Live the life you imagine. This is awesome advice. If you try your best to become the person you wish you were, someday you'll realize that you're not trying anymore, it's just who you are.

When sweetness fails and tears dont work - nag. If sweetness failed and you had to resort to tears to get what you wanted - you didn't deserve it. Grow up.

Never understimate the power of shoes. Or Bags. Having on a great pair of shoes just lifts your spirits as well as your heels. Everytime you feel a frown coming on and look down, you see your pretty shoes and your smile comes back.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be? Like one of my favourite sayings: Buck up and be a man, boy!

'lympics

It is time for the Winter Olympics and I have to say that what I have found the most shocking thus far is not the Wayne Gretzky Gambling Scandal, or Bode Miller's Drunk Ski confessions but the fact that I turned on my TV a couple of minutes ago and discovered that Skating with Celebrities is still on.

Why are you watching this when you could actually be watching people who skate as a vocation? Who are the best in the world? Who aren't just faking it to up their Q factor so that they can get some more E List reality television work in the future? I mean come on, let's support the actual athletes please.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

explanation please...

today's rant

Can someone please explain to me why people of a certain age are not subject to the same rules of polite conduct as the rest of the population? In the last two days I have been offended by a woman coming up to me in a crowded restaurant, where I was waiting for a table by the door, and being told "you're standing in front of my coat, move." Witness to the woman at the table next to us not saying a single polite thing to her waiter, never even occurred to her to say Thank You after he busted his butt getting her order straight because she wouldn't actually eat anything on the menu. Then today there were two women having a very loud extraneous conversation in the archives. It's like a library, whispering is the accepted volume. But the staff will not tell them to shush because they're old, however if two teenagers were having an identical conversation, they would have been asked to use a quieter tone.

I don't buy the fact that the old deserve to be treated differently just because they're old. If I had behaved like that as a child my mom would have sent me to my room. As an adult I subscribe to the golden rule and would expect someone to call me on it if I was rude to my waiter or disturbed the other patrons. I think the fact that someone has lived a long life and is still able to get out and do various activities is commendable and to be hoped for in our own old age. I don't think that anyone should forget common courtesy and feel entitled to behave like an ass just because they happen to have lived longer than you.

fits and starts

Some tidbits

Britney is not pregnant again.
Katie Holmes apparently is actually pregnant - no word on who the father is. I tried to get her to join my boycott of Tom Cruise but for some reason she didn't go for it.
Cellphones got some scary stuff going on.

Is it sad that I started counting down to the weekend about 4 days ago?

The unseasonably warm weather is freaking me out. It just keeps putting the horror that is a Canadian winter further and further back, meaning it will be July and we'll just be getting out of our Parkas. Yes, this groundhog saw his shadow, but this one didn't, so where does that leave us?
Maybe Phil is right and there will be six more weeks of winter, but when will these six weeks of ACTUAL winter arrive? Perhaps they will arrive when we least expect them, like the middle of April giving us both an early spring and 6 more weeks of winter.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

scary video for saturday morning

Sometimes you click around and end up following a link to something that makes shivers run up and down your spine. This is one of those things.

Happy Saturday!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

SSPQotD

Good friends spice up your life. And a really good friend will keep you from burning yourself.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Haute Couture

Yes, I follow the shows. I have a very co-dependent relationship with Style.com. I check obsessively three or four times a day during the season to see the pictures from the runway shows as soon as they are posted. It's Spring/Summer 2006 and for the most part I am in love with what I see. Couture is Art - with a deliberate capital A. It is expressionism, craftsmanship and where style begins. Many of the ideas you see now and will scoff at as entirely being unwearable, will be walking down the street in about 18 months.

I am in lust with the Chanel and Valentino Collections. I need those Boots from Chanel!!! Valentino's suits are delicious. I am very glad I have my white trenchcoat from last spring because it is still the colour.

Not all is delightful though, there is something about Dior this season that just seems to say "I got half finished with the design and then decided to put it through a wood-chipper." I understand the statement he is trying to make, I just don't think anyone should have to wear it. Normally I love the avant-garde classicism of Galliano, so evident in the Fall 2005 Couture Collection but this time the collection is a little too "St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre" for my taste but you be the judge.



As an on-topic aside as to where I got my visual reference to the Massacre watch La Reine Margot. One of my favourite movies of all time (and the only novel I ever tried to read in French - tried being the operative word, thank goodness for translations!)