legends

I'm working and listening to my new Johnny Cash CD and have to say it is one of the best investments I've made lately (shoes don't count, they're always spectacular). I don't normally buy CDs and I don't download. I just listen to the Radio. Either Toronto's Jazz FM91 or BBC 6 (in my links column). I love the Johnny Cash. Reminds me of my childhood and my father. Reminds me of sitting in A&J's living room drinking beer in Vancouver. Reminds me of the Muppet Show. That's all for now. Just felt like sharing.

smells like rain

Summer is the season of smells. Some are beautiful and full of memories. Freshly cut grass, newly dug earth, a tomato right out of the garden. It's been so hot lately that any hint of rain brings with it a glimmer of hope that maybe tonight will be comfortable for sleeping. Also reminds me of being at summer camp the week that it poured rain one afternoon everywhere except for our campsite. We were in the eye of the storm, you could literally stand, half in the rain and half out. I love the cleasing a good rain brings, the feeling of newness and nourishment.

When I lived in Vancouver I had a very different relationship with the rain, more adversarial. It liked to threaten, tease and soak. That it would rain on any given day was just something you took for granted. I began to appreciate the colour blue. I never had before, always took it for granted that when you look up you see sky, sometimes clouds but usually there is beautiful sky. In Vancouver this was not the case. You looked up most of the time you saw grey. The colours of the sky at various times of day are amazingly different, it can change from the palest, whitest blue to the richest, deep sapphire. Amazing how deprivation enhances appreciation. I try to remember how I felt back then and appreciate the little things, some people say smell the roses, I say look at this amazing world we live in and appreciate and thank it for sustaining us, physically and emotionally.

crossing the street

Three times today in my quiet neighbourhood, I was almost run over. Once, by an AMBULANCE. I am a very cautious street crosser. I watched the light turn. The little man light up. I looked right, everything was stopped. I looked left, no cars. I took two steps. All of a sudden, out of nowhere from the left comes a very loud siren noise. Scared the devil out of me. I jumped back on the sidewalk as an ambulance which had come screeching up the road without any noise whatsoever decided that it needed to get through the light. I swear my heart didn't calm down for 10 minutes.

Later that day, I am crossing from the opposite side of the street, notice that the older woman turning right is not even going to look to see if there are pedestrians (which there always are!). After I begin to cross, the left turner decides to also not look and I have to break into a run in order to not be hit by the large, off-road, unnecessary in the city vehicle that is now careening around the corner.

Now I need to have a nap. It was a very stressful day.

wish I was here ...

beautiful, peaceful, and lots of cool water to cool off in.

and another thing

1. Tim Burton is brilliant. Just back from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Amazing.

2. The most amazing book. I can't believe I forgot to put it on my list. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini. Words cannot describe the beauty and agony this story evokes.

ramblings

Today, Harry Potter 6 Eve, I have decided to ramble on about the books I am currently reading, have read recently and simply love.
"Favouritism" when it comes to books is a fluid concept with me. There are those that I hold dear in my heart, those whose writing astounds me with its beauty and those that I wish I had written myself they resonate so soundly with me.

Books read recently* (*they still resonate even though first reading may have been two years ago)

Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks - WW1, you'll feel like you've been there.
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, Dai Sijie - opened my eyes to something I knew nothing about
The Rule of Four, Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason - more plausible than the Da Vinci Code and riveting in its own way
Artemisia, Alexandra Lapierre - scholarly work written as a narrative, the true story of an exceptional artist and woman
Adam's Curse, Bryan Sykes - a rare venture into non-fiction, the story of the Y chromosome
The Virgin Blue, Tracy Chevallier - just as beautiful as Girl with Pearl Earring
Reading Lolita in Tehran, Azar Nafisi - so relevant and should be required reading for anyone who can read
The Red Tent, Anita Diamant - hearbreakingly beautiful

Just Finished

Passion, Jude Morgan - I'm a sucker for author recommendations on a cover, this was recommended by Tracy Chevallier. A really interesting read about the Romantic Poets Keats, Byron and Shelleyn and the women who loved them. Could have used a little more editing though, jumped around a lot without context.

Currently Reading

The Salmon of Doubt, Douglas Adams

in the cue

The Deptford Trilogy, Robertson Davies
Garden of Venus, Eva Stachniak
and of course, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, J.K. Rowling

I love books. I am going to get into trouble soon as I am running out of shelf space and have already started doubling up, which is frustrating since you can't see what you have. Someday I will catalogue them and store them in a more logical manner than my current method: ones I really love, ones I really love but won't fit on the shelf, paperback candy, girl books [chicklit] and classics.

sleep, beautiful sleep

my usual morning routine is this:
wake briefly to say good bye to Husband as he heads off to work and immediately conk right back out
wake to the alarm (that he sets for me)
hit snooze 3 to 5 times
get up
putter around on the computer reading email, the news -I like the NYTimes, esp. the Arts, Fashion and Home sections. I also check the CBC, Canoe and BBC - I check the weather, maybe do a crossword puzzle and read the blogs I like to follow, I also might play a quick game (or seven) of solitaire
Then I start working, taking a break around 11 to have a shower and get dressed.

This morning I was not awoken by an alarm and woke up "naturally" around 11. oops.

I am thrilled. I know I fell asleep in about 1/2 an hour last night, as opposed to the 3 and 4 hour toss and turn marathons I've been having for the last month or so. I count the extra 3 hours as time that was owed to me.

My insomnia issues are complicated and I won't bore you with psychobabble. But it's hard to explain to my husband who thinks it's odd if it takes him more than 5 minutes to fall asleep.
I lie there, jealous that he's asleep, blaming his deep breathing/snoring for keeping me awake (I do wear earplugs) and after three or four hours, essentially the cycle goes like this : jealousy, anger, anger with self for being so irrational, stomping off to other room to sleep on the couch, not getting comfortable, coming back to bed, jealousy, anger, ...

So basically I'm hoping the pills my Dr. gave me will help me get on a more regular schedule so that I can go back to my normal 1/2 hour fall asleep time ... I had tried everything else, deep breathing, meditation, sleepy teas, warm milk (blech btw), vodka (this worked but wasn't a very good plan so I abandoned it after one night), no caffeine at all during the day, etc., so really the pills were my last resort.

also maybe the weather will break and it won't feel like 40 degrees in the apartment. It's hard to sleep when if any part of your body touches another part they're stuck together by sweat.

pretty picture

just thought I'd share another photo from Europe. I'm in a blogging mood since with the help of KB I figured out how to add a "links" list but don't really have anything to say. I'm sweating quite profusely and killing time until my Yoga class. However I'm finding that the heat is quite good for my flexibility. Now if only imagining I practiced every day had the same effect as actually practicing every day.

confessions ...

My husband and I are foodies. We're not too serious, we don't only go to restaurants with 5 star ratings or eschew a good burger ... but once or twice a month we have "fancy cookin' dinner" where we go through our cookbooks or surf the web for interesting recipes. This weekend we feasted on Fois Gras with Sherry and Shallot Sauce followed by Magret of Duck, Parsnip and Foie Gras puree and a sherry and vinegar sauce.
It's fun to do and since he works until 10 most nights during the week it gives us some good "together time."

Although I am on a strictly salad diet this week to try and counteract all the fat from that one dinner. Good thing I had my cholesterol checked last week.

I actually did something interesting for work today. Took about 15 minutes but boy was it exhilerating!

boycott dilemma

So I was flicking around the TV last night and noticed that Interview with a Vampire was playing. I was initially excited because I haven't seen the film in a long time. Then I remembered my boycott of the Tom Cruise. So I did not watch the movie. But would it be OK to re-read the book? He had nothing to do with its creation

confusion ...

Things I don't understand:

Terrorism. Why does killing innocent people help any cause?

Running for the Subway. There will be another in 2 minutes.

Bjork. Seriously, I don't understand the appeal. Perhaps I'm not sophisticated enough in my musical taste, or maybe I'm too sophisticated ....

Retaliation. Why does bombing the bombers ever seem like a good idea. Making them even madder has to be a brilliant plan.

Jaywalking. Admittedly, after having been hit by a vehicle, I'm more cautious than most, but when is jaywalking while holding a small child ever a good plan?

Parking illegally and then complaining about the ticket. I'm so glad the laws of the land don't apply to you.

Reality TV contestants. I'm not saying I don't watch the occasional show - I'm addicted to anything fashion related - but who really thinks that the experience is going to make their lives better?

Everytime I buy an existing herb window box, the chives and parsely die within a week. (I tried growing parsley from seeds ... it's not going well either.)


my heart and prayers are with all those injured and bereaved in London.

where is the end?

Today, rainy and humid, I sit working -procrastinating- at home before heading out to pick some things up, I have been wondering, when is a job more than a job? What is the difference between a job and a "career"? I used to really enjoy my job, it challenged me, I learned something new everyday, I was constantly doing different things. Lately I have been doing the same thing day after day after day after day ... It's not as much fun anymore. A lot of it has to do with my working from home and the lack of variety in the projects they can assign me in my "remote" office. I really need human contact. My husband works really long hours and his usual return from the office time is 10pm. I am trying to get out more and to meet people and make new friends, but like my good friend KB said, "We're not 10 anymore, you can't send a note saying Would you like to be my friend? check Yes/No."

So I am slowly getting up the nerve to look for a new job. When you have relatively low self-esteem job hunting is not one of the best activities.

BTW, saw the CanStage production of Much Ado About Nothing in High Park in Toronto on Sunday and highly recommend checking it out! It was great. http://www.canstage.com

drowning in pictures

I just got back from picking up 10 enlargements of pictures from my honeymoon (I've been married now for about 6 weeks!). In our living room we have two tall free-standing frames for five pictures each and we like to switch up the content so that we (and any guests) aren't always looking at the same thing. Secretly, I also like to show off my limited ability with a camera. I have to say that of the 375+ pictures we took I have a clear favourite. Of course when you're in Venice, it's hard to take a bad picture.