Wednesday, July 13, 2005

sleep, beautiful sleep

my usual morning routine is this:
wake briefly to say good bye to Husband as he heads off to work and immediately conk right back out
wake to the alarm (that he sets for me)
hit snooze 3 to 5 times
get up
putter around on the computer reading email, the news -I like the NYTimes, esp. the Arts, Fashion and Home sections. I also check the CBC, Canoe and BBC - I check the weather, maybe do a crossword puzzle and read the blogs I like to follow, I also might play a quick game (or seven) of solitaire
Then I start working, taking a break around 11 to have a shower and get dressed.

This morning I was not awoken by an alarm and woke up "naturally" around 11. oops.

I am thrilled. I know I fell asleep in about 1/2 an hour last night, as opposed to the 3 and 4 hour toss and turn marathons I've been having for the last month or so. I count the extra 3 hours as time that was owed to me.

My insomnia issues are complicated and I won't bore you with psychobabble. But it's hard to explain to my husband who thinks it's odd if it takes him more than 5 minutes to fall asleep.
I lie there, jealous that he's asleep, blaming his deep breathing/snoring for keeping me awake (I do wear earplugs) and after three or four hours, essentially the cycle goes like this : jealousy, anger, anger with self for being so irrational, stomping off to other room to sleep on the couch, not getting comfortable, coming back to bed, jealousy, anger, ...

So basically I'm hoping the pills my Dr. gave me will help me get on a more regular schedule so that I can go back to my normal 1/2 hour fall asleep time ... I had tried everything else, deep breathing, meditation, sleepy teas, warm milk (blech btw), vodka (this worked but wasn't a very good plan so I abandoned it after one night), no caffeine at all during the day, etc., so really the pills were my last resort.

also maybe the weather will break and it won't feel like 40 degrees in the apartment. It's hard to sleep when if any part of your body touches another part they're stuck together by sweat.

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